Tuesday 9 November 2010

A Worthy Goal

Pause warned me about this insect-eating clock a week or so ago, concerned that it could only be a matter of time (no pun intended) before the machines realise they could get a great deal more power by devouring the succulent flesh of their human masters.

Well, maybe!  Not sure what a clock would need that much power for.  Flight, maybe?  "What time is it, Mr Clock?" "Fuck off, I can fly!"  I guess it's a possibility worth considering.

Still, whilst we're waiting for our chronometric overlords to rise, there are other ways we can make use of this technology.  What about an insect-powered snake-killer, for example?  That way both myself and the Other Half can get a good night's sleep, secure in the knowledge that every mosquito in a half-mile radius has been sucked into oblivion so as to crispy-fry encroaching ophidians. You could advertise it on televisions powered by murdering cockroaches (that's cockroaches that have been murdered, not the Mimic kind), in homes lit by the tiny burning bodies of tens of thousands of thunderbugs.

Sure, eventually we'll use up so many arthropods that the food chain collapses, destroying pretty much all life.   But it's pretty clear at this point that we've irreversibly fucked the planet in any case.  May as well take the insects down first.

No comments: