Turned To Jelly

This time next week

Well, this is embarrassing. After years of insisting the human world could survive whilst the octopuses were too busy fighting amongst themselves to take us on (this will be the subject of my first screenplay; Uwe Boll has expressed an interest. Presumably), it turns out that it’s actually the jellyfish that are going to punch our clock, evolutionarily speaking. The only thing that can stop them is, apparently, larger and more toothsome jellyfish, which sounds like a plan with an obvious and problematic endpoint.

I suppose I should get at least partial credit for figuring all those vertebrae cluttering up dry land were only a fad, at least. I should also note that when we were in Scotland in June the locals were discussing how the standard jellyfish horde had failed to arrive this year. People’s response to this tiny anecdotal data point can tell you a lot about them, actually:

Climate change denier: there is no jellyfish problem; scientists just want more money to invent unnecessary and dangerous jelly dissolving weapons.

Cynic: there is no situation in this world so bad it won’t get work.

Statistician: why are you bothering me with this frivolity?

Indisputably correct: the jellyfish didn’t come to Scotland because they’re massing to attack.

(h/t Erik Loomis)