Zombie plagues suck ass
No, eat flesh; that's it. Eat flesh.
Either way, sounds bad.
So we get to work
No planes, no boats, Africa
(Prince of Thieves nod, there).
But that's not enough
Memo to ourselves in red
SEND ALL OF OUR DUDES!
(South Africa grins
All dudes? Best present ever!
And they'll be in charge!)
Just a minute, though,
Prevention always beats cure
Or would've, I guess.
So how'd this go down?
Could we take time to count the
Saucers overhead?
Eight jillion, huh?
Coincidence? Or something
Far more sinister?
I say: DECLARE WAR!
But I am surrounded by
Alien lovers.
"Japan, c'mon, dude
It's nothing to do with them"
Mealy-mouthed replies.
"It is an attack"
I say, "Just like the last one."
"Remember Tokyo."
"A sad accident",
Vietnam says, as he shakes
A treacherous head.
Eyebrows in ascent
I practice diplomacy
"The fuck's that you say?"
"Five million dead,
Their souls burned and their dreams dust.
Evaporated people."
"They aimed and they fired.
Knowing what cost, should they hit,
We would have to bear."
"This is all they do.
This is all they are. They kill
Because they can kill."
Vietnamese sneer.
"What if words like those brought this
"Down on your own heads?"
The quietest room,
The coldest shoulder. My hate
burns like my city.
Henceforth, a new goal.
I will destroy this man's life.
Vietnam go home.
But first I go home.
All of Japan is abuzz.
The aliens approach.
Indonesia's
Offered us a proposal
With Australia.
Each will invite guests
From off-world, and when they show
They'll bomb them to shit.
Our role's critical.
We need to stand by our friends
And laugh REALLY hard.
(Also air support
Say what you will of Japan
We got mad missiles.)
Next, back in the jet
To the belly of the beast.
Ho Chi Minh City.
Granted audience
I bow to show respect, and
Grass that fucker up.
I list our demands.
First an apology, then
Fire that diplomat.
(Yeah, don't mess, world, hear?
In a flash I'll dob you in
To all your mommas.)
On to the UN.
South Africa looks downcast.
World War Z's a bust.
So here's the thing
When you vote to send troops in
They need to show up.
All SA got were
Eleven crisp notes that read
"IOU troops, LOL".
Still, we've learned something
It's hard to decapitate
Zombies with paper-cuts.
Any more business?
Yes, Nigeria? Hang on...
QUARANTINE BREACH! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Good work, Abuja,
Way to lock-down the UN
With zombie cooties.
While we wait for meds.
Let's play "Guess the crisis we
Can't do shit about."
My guess is easy
Though I can't tell anyone
My phone keeps beeping.
"Return A-SAP, Ric.
Operation Guest-House fucked.They've sending warships."
This is not good news.
But for now I guess we're fine.
Then the screaming starts.
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